Sunday, August 30, 2015


Mo tattoo, just a coming out of a sort

Someone shared this post on Facebook with me today.

I'm not about to get tattooed, but .... for those of you who have never struggled with depression, God bless you! Be happy and blessed that you don't understand, but be aware that you really don't understand.

I'm proud of this girl, and wish her well....and if a tattoo or anything else helps her cope, I hope her parents understand and support her decisions.

Depression isn't feeling sad, it is an unrelenting hopelessness and worthlessness. It is being afraid to demand or even ask for love or respect because you feel and believe you are neither loveable or deserving of respect. It is being a people pleaser because you know in your heart that people will value the things you can do for them, even if they don't really value you for yourself. It is the feeling that you have never been and will never be good enough. Depressed people don't take their own lives because they fail, they do it because they don't think there is any chance for anything better than the way they feel right now, and the pain of the struggle becomes too much.

My bouts of depression probably started in grade school. I wasn't diagosed conclusively until I was in my 30's. I have tried every drug, every type of counseling, every short term fix I was offered. All of them work for a little while. None of them work forever.  I have heard every explanation why of I came to be this way.  Chemical imbalance, emotional trauma, hormonal issues, ineffective parenting, you name it.  It is all guesswork and immaterial. People who have far worse histories and lives than mine know how to accept and display love,

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